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Final Fantasy IV Review
As I was growing up, around the 2nd Grade, FF4 was the first RPG title I had first-hand experience with. Sure, I sucked at it, but it's what familarized me with the series and made me pronounce Chocobo "Chobacko". Back then, we had to cast a Flight spell on everyone when approaching poison ground, waste potions just to find out you'll be fully healed by an honorable boss five seconds later, not to mention deal with being turned into various assorted small things. And let's not forget having to trek back through the dungeon you just spent 40 minutes exploring because "Teleport" doesn't work. Do you know how many times we died because we COULDN'T FIND A SAVE POINT!? Phew, whoa, sorry, got a little carried away there.
For you NON-GEEKS, Final Fantasy IV was "Final Fantasy II" over here in the U.S. Actually, not quite. NoA thought so much of us, they unscrupulously gave us Japan's "Final Fantasy IV EasyType", which supposedly was the version of the game for children. Makes sense in my case, to a certain extent, but the thing that didn't make sense was the fact that both versions really aren't that different. "FF4: HardType", which is technically what I'm reviewing, has it's slight differences, but other than that, the only obvious ones are the cuts that were made to our version before it's U.S. release. Reeling in confusion yet?
See, NoA didn't just consider that we'd need a semi-easier version of the game; they knew that they'd have to make it G-rated. Final Fantasy VII wasn't the dawn of profanity and vulgarity in "Final Fantasy", children. Final Fantasy IV had a good amount of content that'd be considered wrong for a video game in America at the time(1992), back before ESRB, and Ol' Nintendo just couldn't allow this UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. They changed Guilitines to Giant Iron Balls(which, when you think about it, is far worse than being sliced in half), removed the precious hidden Programmer's Room due to it containing a "Playboy Magazine" item(more on that later), and made it seem like our main protagonist wasn't getting any, when in fact he was. They even apparently dissaproved of kissing for some reason, the symbol of simple love between two people, the thing you do to your Grandma when you visit her-- changing Rosa & Cecil love scenes to a bland hug sprite. Even movies made before ratings came about for that form of entertainment allowed a man to a kiss a woman, so why NoA removed this is beyond me. As for the "Programmer's Room", the only offensive thing in the whole area was a Porno Magazine, which when used just makes Cecil happy and bring up the fact that he might go blind. Could have been removed on it's own rather easily, but knowing the nerds that once existed(and perhaps still do) at NoA, they probably worried that small children might become frightened by the inane sprites & speach used for the designers in the area. I know I would have had a heart-attack back then if I waltzed in there by accident and got in a fight with a guy telling me "he's gonna be a daddy, well later". Then again, I thought my copy of Final Fantasy VI was possessed by a demon when Shadow's dreams kicked in after staying at an Inn.
Graphics. For being the first SNES Final Fantasy, it made a leap from the NES's graphical department quite well. Sprites are super-deformed, as fitting the time, but done well, along with the backdrops and scenary. Most'd have complaints about the style nowadays, but, you see, I frankly don't care. It's visually appealing in that nostalgic-sense, and that's what matters to me. 9/10.
 Gameplay. Just the way I left it years ago, addictive as hell. It's just that type of RPG that isn't a chore to play; you get in to it, you look around hours later and realize it's 6 AM. And being that it is "FFIV: HardType", I found it odd that I breezed through it in a week's time, when it took me a year's time with "Final Fantasy II" to realize I couldn't beat Cagnaizzo. Skill levels increase with age, I guess. The style is handled in the typical RPG fashion: you fight battles, get involved in some sort of insane story where everything always goes terribly wrong, explore dungeons, and proceed onward while getting stronger without really noticing. Only thing is, FF4 broke the tradition a tad bit by integrating the slight ability to "Adventure" more than "RPG"-- that is to say, instead of reaching a new area and having to stay around the place for ages leveling up, for the most part you can just go about the game without having to do any sort of level increasing, as long as you fight when need be. This typically is what everyone wants, because in the long run most people become impatient. I personally can't argue it, but from playing the Dragon Quest series until my retinas liquified, I'm just fine with leveling up if need be as well. But be forewarned-- you will recieve a major butt-kicking for not leveling up until your head explodes in the end. Get your butt kicked HARD. Sorry, got a strange mental image there. FF4 is also well known for it's longevity; even though it only took me a week, that's one long week of strenuous, non-stop playing. Okay, so what if I clocked in at a little under 20 hours; maybe just seems long? 9.5/10.
 Plot. For the time, Square managed to do pretty well, actually, as if they've had a series of failures to begin with anyway. Cecil, an orphan taken in by the King of Baron, is ordered to learn the ways of the Dark Sword and become a(say it with me now, kids!) Dark Knight. So he does, sometime before we're allowed to apparently see, and then goes off and kills some innocent mages in a village by order of the King, and then steals their crystal. The guy, as if it's no surprise, becomes a bit suspicious of the King's actions, gets demoted from control of the Kingdom's airship brigade, the "Red Wings", and questions what he can do about it by being just a Dark Knight. I won't spoil anymore, because doing so would be sacreligious. Or atleast to someone who's reading this because they're interested in playing it and never have before, but that's saying alot-- everyone knows nobody reads these reviews. Anyway, in the end alot of secrets come about, two whole planets are explored, and there's a whole lot of heavy, heavy petting. All true, except for the heavy petting part. Sorry, it's the sad truth. 10/10.
Sound. Great musical score. I honestly can't think of anything to comment on, make a crack about, or anything slightly amusing about it. Oh, when you enter a battle it makes that "PWFSH-PWFSH!" sound. That's FUNNY, RIGHT!?... Right? 9.5/10.
Replay Value. Personally don't see the excitement in enduring another 20 HOURS of getting my butt kicked by monsters and reading speach all over again, but maybe that's because I've already played through the first quarter of the game an approximate 80.5 million times. If I ever attempt to again, it'll be through means of a Game Genie or Pro Action Replay, and for experimentation with the U.S. version. But frankly, it is an addictive game, just not for a fellow whose memorized the opening sequence and has Boss Battle strategies integrated into his brain. 7/10.
Final Thought/Overall Rating
It goes without saying that FF4 was, at least in my book, one of the far more memorable of the Final Fantasy series. It had an interesting story that compelled me as a child, making me want to wear a Dragoon Costume for Halloween(and thus frightening my parents in the process). It brought forth a perverted Ninja Prince and a Playboy Magazine item. Now, how many RPGs can say that!? Alright, besides Pokemon. ALRIGHT, aside from Quest 64, too. Come to think of it, there are too many perverted Ninja Princes and Playboy Magazine items in RPGs these days-- it's gotta stop. 9/10.
-Grand Master Dragon
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