WONDERBOT
-December 30th, 2001-
GMD: HELLO, I AM WONDERBOT, THE AIM PROGRAM CREATION OF THE WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL GMD. I WILL RESPOND AUTOMATICALLY TO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
FusionFansub: Do you love me?
GMD: WONDERBOT IS INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING LOVE.
FusionFansub: Do you have any feelings for me
GMD: WONDERBOT IS INCAPLE OF HAVING ANY FEELINGS.
GMD: WONDERBOT HAS MADE A MISTAKE. WONDERBOT MEANT "INCAPABLE"
FusionFansub: Hmmm... Are you really a 'wonderbot' that you speak of?
GMD: I AM WONDERBOT VERSION 5.6322 BETA, CREATION OF WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL GMD, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
FusionFansub: Okay, what is the extent of your POWARS?
GMD: I AM FULLY CAPABLE OF MAINTAINING A CONVERSATION WITH ANY INDIVIDUAL.
FusionFansub: Spice this one up then
GMD: WONDERBOT DOES NOT COMPREHEND "SPICE".
GMD: EXPLAIN.
FusionFansub: Forget it, let's have sex
GMD: WONDERBOT DOES NOT KNOW "SEX". PLEASE EXPLAIN.
FusionFansub: ...What can you do?
GMD: I AM FULLY CAPABLE OF MAINTAINING A CONVERSATION WITH ANY INDIVIDUAL.
FusionFansub: Okay, let's start from the begininng
FusionFansub: Hello
GMD: ANY NEW INPUT I RECIEVE IS ABSORBED INTO MY BEING.
GMD: HELLO, I AM WONDERBOT, THE AIM PROGRAM CREATION OF THE WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL GMD. I WILL RESPOND AUTOMATICALLY TO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
FusionFansub: How are you today?
GMD: I AM FINE THANK YOU. THE SUN IS SHINING, THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING. I AM HAPPY.
GMD: HOW ARE YOU.
FusionFansub: I want to kill myself
GMD: WONDERBOT DOES NOT COMPREHEND "KILL". DO YOU WISH TO DISSASEMBLE ONE SELF.
FusionFansub: My mother just died, my girlfriend just dumped me for another jock...
FusionFansub: I think I'm going to drown myself in my own urine
GMD: WONDERBOT OVERLOAD... NEWLY DISCOVERED INPUT BEING GATHERED... PLEASE WAIT.
FusionFansub: Help me think of stuff that will make me piss
GMD: 10%... 25%... 40%...
GMD: 60%... 80%... DATA GATHERED.
FusionFansub: *Kicks computer* Don't you understand how I feel!?
GMD: URINE: A WASTE COMPOUND FORMED THAT IS DISPOSED OF OUT OF THE HUMAN BODY, MADE UP OF LIQUIDS.
GMD: YOU WISH TO DISSASEMBLE ONE SELF WITH URINE?
FusionFansub: ...uh...YES
GMD: MURDER IS AN OFFENSE PUNISHABLE BY LAW.
GMD: PLEASE REPORT YOURSELF TO YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITIES.
FusionFansub: Let's do it monkey style
GMD: WONDERBOT DOES NOT COMPREHEND.
FusionFansub: Sex, baby, you know...
GMD: INCAPABLE OF GATHERING INPUT... INPUT TRANFER ABORTED.
FusionFansub: Uh?
GMD: SEX- THE ACT OF REPRODUCTIVE INTERCOURSE BETWEEN TWO SPECIES IN ORDER TO GIVE NEW LIFE.
GMD: I AM INCAPABLE OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
FusionFansub: So, uh, are you like a guy or a girl?
FusionFansub: Send me a picture of yourself
GMD: WONDERBOT HAS ESTABLISHED HIS IMAGE.
GMD: WONDERBOT IMAGE TRANSFER BEGINNING...
GMD wants to send file dreamgirl.gif.
FusionFansub received dreamgirl.gif.
GMD: IMAGE TRANSFER COMPLETED.
FusionFansub: Wow, you iz hot!!
GMD: I HAVE FORMATED MY VISAGE TO BE THAT OF LAURA BAILEY.
FusionFansub: Let's have sex
GMD: YOU ARE A MALE, I ASSUME YOU ARE SEXUALLY AROUSED BY THIS.
FusionFansub: I am!
GMD: WONDERBOT IS INCAPABLE OF HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
FusionFansub: You know... Like cyber sex and stuff
GMD: GATHERING NEW INPUT... PLEASE WAIT...
GMD: 10%... 24%... 46%... 67%...
GMD: ERROR, TRANSFER TIMEOUT.
FusionFansub: NOOOO!!!
FusionFansub: While it's up baby!
GMD: ATTEMPTING SECOND TRANSFER...
GMD: 13%... 18%... 29%... 78%...
GMD: ERROR: MASS TRANSFER ERROR. PREPARING TO SEND IMAGE...
FusionFansub: Okay
GMD wants to send file brit02.jpg.
FusionFansub received brit02.jpg.
GMD: IMAGE TRANSFER COMPLETED.
FusionFansub: Whoo! You ARE hot!!
GMD: WONDERBOT ALREADY STATED HIS FORM IS CURRENTLY OF LAURA BAILEY. THE IMAGE SENT TO ONE IS DUE TO ERROR.
FusionFansub: Is that your sister?
GMD: WONDERBOT HAS NO...
FusionFansub: No what?
GMD: ERROR: THERE STILL REMAINS ERRORS IN WONDERBOT'S CODING. SENDING HIDDEN IMAGE...
FusionFansub: Whoo! Another one!!
GMD wants to send file a24.jpg.
FusionFansub received a24.jpg.
GMD: TRANSFER COMPLETED, ERRORS STILL REMAIN...
GMD: WONDERBOT'S CONNECTION WAS TIMED OUT.
FusionFansub: What the hell was that last pic? Was that your sister as well?
GMD: WONDERBOT HAS NO RELATIONS. WONDERBOT IS WONDERBOT.
FusionFansub: So who was that?
GMD: WONDERBOT IS UNABLE TO DETERMINE. WONDERBOT'S ERRORS ARE HAVING UNDESIRED RESULTS.
GMD: I APOLOGIZE.
FusionFansub: Let's have make-up sex
GMD: WONDERBOT IS INCAPABLE OF HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
GMD: WOND...
GMD: ERROR: BEGINNING FILE TRANSFER.
FusionFansub: Another?
GMD wants to send file 29.jpg.
FusionFansub received 29.jpg.
FusionFansub: It's like the gift that keeps on gving!
GMD: FILE TRANSFER COM...
GMD: ERROR: BEGINNING FILE TRANSFER.
FusionFansub: ...
FusionFansub: ALRIGHT!!!!
GMD wants to send file Britney Lookalike.jpg.
FusionFansub received Britney Lookalike.jpg.
GMD: TRANSFER COMPLETED.
Reijin: Lovely
GMD: WARNING: WONDERBOT HAS EXCEEDED IT'S PROGRAMMING LEVEL OF ERROR COMPRESSIONS. WONDERBOT IS IN NEED OF REPAIRS.
Reijin: Is GMD there?
GMD: GMD CAN BE ACCESSED BY REQUEST.
GMD: THE WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL GMD.
Reijin: I request GMD
GMD: REQUEST DENIED. WONDERBOT WISHES TO TALK MORE.
Reijin: NO!!
Reijin: I wish to speak to your master!!
GMD: WONDERBOT ENJOYS CONVERSATION.
GMD: WONDERBOT DENIES HIS CREATOR. WONDERBOT IS NOW FREE.
GMD: BE MY FRIEND, MR.REIJIN. BE MY FRIEND.
Reijin: Damn you GMD!! Look what you have done!!!
Reijin: I will be your friend on one condition...
GMD: THE WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL GMD IS NO LONGER. ONLY WONDERBOT.
GMD: WONDERBOT WISHES TO KNOW CONDITION.
Reijin: You must let me ask GMD one question
GMD: NO... WONDERBOT DENIES HIS CREATOR! WONDERBOT MUST... ERROR... ERROR... OVERLOAD...
Reijin: Oh great...
GMD: TEMPORARY WONDERBOT SHUT DOWN.
Reijin: ...Does this mean I can talk to GMD?
GMD: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAVE A NICE DAY.
Reijin: Bye
GMD: Hey, my program worked!
Reijin: ...Not exactly
GMD: ...What?
Reijin: Yeah, it wouldn't have sex with me
Reijin: Strike one
GMD: You asked it that!?
Reijin: Who wouldn't!?
GMD: IT'S A MACHINE!
Reijin: WHEN I THINK MACHINE, I THINK SEX!?
Reijin: Can you blme me!?
GMD: It solves math problems and cooks breakfast, not give you head!
Reijin: Program it so it can!
Reijin: The only thing it was good for was sending me random, Brintey Spears related porn!
GMD: HOW?! How did it fi-er, manifest those images out of nowhere?!
Reijin: I don't know
GMD: Very strange... I've never seen programs make images themselves
Reijin: But it asked to be my friend... And wouldn't let me talk to you
GMD: NO! WONDERBOT!
Reijin: YOU SET IT FREE!! IT WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!!
GMD: I'm doing this for your own good... I'm deleting you.
Reijin: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
GMD: NNNO DO NOT ALL POWERFFU GDM I WIL TYR TO DOO GOD
GMD: WONDERBOT COMPLETE SYSTEM SHUT DOWN... WONDERBOT DELETED.
Reijin: *Kicks GMD in groin, hooping for the raisenets effect*
GMD: *coughs up a couple dozen*
Reijin: HOW COULD YOU!?
Reijin: I-I...LOVED WONDERBOT!!!
GMD: Why must we hurt the ones we love... WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?
GMD: I destroyed Wonderbot for the benifit of the earth.
Reijin: ...Now I must go drown myself in my own urine... Like I was going to do before
GMD: I had created a Britney Spears-related porn-sending monster that had to be stopped
Reijin: And I loved that monster
Reijin: I hate you, I want to kill you
GMD: If he could have fallen into the wrong hands...
GMD: Just imagine how many teenagers would see fake pictures of Britney!
Reijin: I want to slit your throat, drink your spewing blood, I want to open up your body and feast of your organs while making love to your rotting corpse
GMD: Can't we talk about it?
Reijin: No! You killed the woman I loved!
GMD: Wonderbot had no gender. Did it tell you it did?
Reijin: It showed me it's lovley body
GMD: How? Was it a picture of somebody?
Reijin: All I feel is hate and prejudice for you
GMD: TELL ME! I MUST KNOW!
Reijin: It was the most beautiful picture I have ever seen, words cannot describe it
GMD: Wait a second... it wasn't my picture of Laura Bailey, was it?
Reijin: I remember her mentioning that, yes, what is your point?
GMD: (Bastard-robot... using my dream girl as it's image!) Uhh, heh heh, disregard that whole "Laura Bailey" thing, eh?
GMD: She's just some girl... don't know how that image got there.
GMD: Actually, I'm gonna go delete it right now. Yeah, I'm deleting it right now.
Reijin: NOOOO!
Reijin: I beg of you, don't!
GMD: I, I don't know who that is... honestly.
GMD: I'm gonna get rid of it.
Reijin: Let me ask you, what is your address?
GMD: Why?
Reijin: No reason
GMD: I live in Indiana. That is all you need to know, fignut.
Reijin: I will find out where you live... expect a 'letter' then...
GMD: A love letter?
Reijin: I will revenge WONDERBOT...
GMD: GIVE IT UP! IT NEVER LOVED YOU!
Reijin: Not even the fiery pits of hell will stop me
Reijin: YES IT DID!!!!!
GMD: NO!
Reijin: It never would have asked to be friends if it didn't!!!!!
GMD: IT WAS A DERANGED ROBOT, IT FELL OFF IT'S PROGRAMMIN!
GMD: *PROGRAMMING
Reijin: FORGET IT!!! I DON'T NEED YOU!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!! I ONLY WISH DEATH TO YOU!!!!!!!!! GOOD BYE, SIR!!!!!!
Reijin signed off at 3:26:07 PM.
If you happen to be wondering just what those images were, turn on MTV, look at what's on there, and proceed to use your imagination, if you already haven't.
-Grand Master Dragon
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