GMD Interview
-May 18th, 2001-
Yeah, these things happen. I finally got interviewed. Yes, me. No, not that guy! Me! No, no, forget that other guy, he has nothing to do with this...
Anyway, this is what happens when you and a friend read PSaturn interviews at 1 AM, and are talking on AIM. Happy fun time.
Daovonnaex: Interview begins...now
Grand Master Dragon: Yes
Daovonnaex: So, how would you describe your gestation?
Grand Master Dragon: Slapping me with words I don't know... good one.
Daovonnaex: Gestation=period where mother is pregnant, ie, your time in the womb
Grand Master Dragon: Ah
Grand Master Dragon: Well, it was pretty laid back, for the most part. The toxic fumes did get annoying after awhile, though.
Daovonnaex: So your saying your mother tried to kill you?
Grand Master Dragon: No, she was simply preparing my lungs for many years of Second-Hand Smoke.
Daovonnaex: Are you having an illicit love affair with cjb.net?
Grand Master Dragon: Shh... don't tell.
Daovonnaex: This..."Mike", is he real, or an evil phantom shitter?
Grand Master Dragon: I'll send you his contact lenses for proof.
Daovonnaex: So he's a serial masturbator?
Grand Master Dragon: It gets very lonely at Truck Stops for him
Daovonnaex: Would you say that crack promotes healthy living?
Grand Master Dragon: If it's well-advertised
Daovonnaex: Good, good.
Daovonnaex: Is Bruce Lee really dead, or just hiding in a Hong Kong butcher shop?
Grand Master Dragon: He's hanging out with Walt Disney in the "TIME CHAMBER"
Daovonnaex: Where did the inspiration for the bizarre name, Wowie Zowie come from?
Grand Master Dragon: Shakespeere's "Romeo and Juliet"
Daovonnaex: Would you say Romeo Must Die teaches people to burn classical literature?
Grand Master Dragon: Yes, with weapons.
Daovonnaex: Can you create Turkish Delight?
Grand Master Dragon: It's possible, but it'd be extremely illegal.
Daovonnaex: Are you in favor of killing policemen?
Grand Master Dragon: Only if it wasn't intended.
Daovonnaex: So, you're a felon
Grand Master Dragon: I play Everquest; of course.
Daovonnaex: That's just what I needed to hear, son! *Slaps handcuffs on GMD and flashes FBI badge*
Daovonnaex: We'll be doing interrogation now, instead on an interview
Grand Master Dragon: The man, always bringing me down...
Grand Master Dragon: Get that light outta ma face! I want my lawyer here!
Daovonnaex: Do you dream of cutting off everyone's legs so that you can be the tallest man in the world?
Grand Master Dragon: I contemplated it once, then realized there isn't enough string in the world to sew them all together.
Grand Master Dragon: And I can't sew.
Daovonnaex: So, you lack the ability to hide evidence?
Grand Master Dragon: Everything goes down the toilet, it's that simple.
Daovonnaex: Aha! You confess to destroying evidence!
Daovonnaex: You're going to jail for a long time, son.
Grand Master Dragon: Don't put words in my mouth, Sarge!
Daovonnaex: (Heh heh...now to push for the death penalty...)
Grand Master Dragon: I'm innocent, I tell ya, innocent!
Daovonnaex: Aha! Purgery!
Grand Master Dragon: (Man, if he only knew I was the one who farted on the way in...)
Daovonnaex: So, why did you create the WZOA?
Daovonnaex: Aha! Another crime!
Grand Master Dragon: To promote Anarchy and love
Daovonnaex: Anarchy?! That's high treason!
Grand Master Dragon: Aw crap, he's psychic!
Grand Master Dragon: (Which means he can hear this...)
Grand Master Dragon: (And this...)
Daovonnaex: You have a right to speedy trial. The verdict: guilty. The penalty: Death
Grand Master Dragon: So much for getting my first grey hair
Daovonnaex: *Kills GMD*
Note: Due to unforseen circumstances, this interview has been brought to a close.
The preceding you just read was all true. Some AIM names were changed to protect the innocent. Well, actually, only one. My own. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
-Grand Master Dragon
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