| |
Women in Kilts
-September 25th, 2001-
Ever since I witnessed first-hand a kilted female dancing to the sound of festival bagpipe music, which led into a PG-13 Beginner Exotic Dancer training session, I've had a thing for "da women in the kilts". Although my supposed Scotish ancestry(which is also probably why I've had a thing for such) states that women never were and aren't allowed to wear kilts in the Land of the Scots, it's apparently become a trend in recent years for women in Scotland to wear dresses that resemble them, and of course Christian School Girls to wear something extremely similar. So why not review some kilted women as if they were a recent blockbuster movie? Take note that none of these lovely ladies' names have been disclosed, because finding names for models on Scotish Fashion and School Uniform sites is an impossible task that can never be completed. (Click on the images to enlarge)
 Contestant #1
Apparently an actual native of Scotland, C1 has a potentcy that could be only be unleashed if she'd take that stupid barrette off of her head. The long sleeves frighten me tremendously, and shouldn't be there whatsoever. The graceful blond hair that we can vaguely make out is again foreshadowed by the evil barrette of Doom, which again I say must be burned. And her eyes. I can't see the beautiful, beautiful eyes. Her kilt also appears to be dramatically too long, and needs to have several inches cut off. Like to, say, where the child standing next to her's kilt begins. Anyway, she's too old for me. 4.5/10.
 Contestant #2
Again, with the long sleeves. When does it stop? Doesn't matter though, as C2 as a whole makes up for it with... everything else. The kilt manages to come in at a perfect size this time around, as we actually get to see a kneecap for once. The only beef I really have is the pig tails, which is a hairstyle I don't believe I'll ever come to terms with. The Tennis Shoes are a major improvement over the standard heels, and... jees, do I really need to go on!? I wish to marry this woman and raise a family of New-Age Polliticians with her. 10/10.
 Contestant #3
Unfortunately, this poor woman was shunned entirely from the picture so much a smaller image isn't need to be displayed. She seems to blend a bit of both Contestant #1 and Contestant #2, mixing a bit of actual Scotish without looking like a robotic Death Machine. Although the photo is in black and white, she appears to be blond. Which is niether good or bad. Or has any relevence. The kilt however is far too long, to the point where I wonder if it were part of a parachute before. Regardless, not that bad. If you are the nice old fellow that was standing next to her in this photo... you're only her brother, right? 6/10.
 Contestant #4
Alright, so she's got the right idea. Kilt's the right length, there's even nothing on undernieth it, which earns her some serious points. But there's no doubt in my mind that this woman shouldn't be wearing this, or doing that, or even be in this picture. It's just wrong. 5/10.
 Contestant #5
Ha ha ha, silly girl: you have to wear the kilt to become a contestant. Wait... don't. 2/10.
The likelyhood of this Feature continuing is quite unlikely, as searching for pictures of women in kilts on the Internet gave me about as many results as searching for "Magic Space Clown Sandwich" did.
-Grand Master Dragon
|
|
Articles 
