Rejected Super Hero Weapons
-4/6/2001-
Believe it or not, a group of advanced super-smart scientists decide what weapons & gadgets those super heroes without special powers(or perhaps limited ones). Captain America, for example, had his nice lil' shield developed by these really cool guys(just for the record, they refuse to allow usage of their names). However, just like a good video game, there's always the beta stuff that never makes it... remember Batman's first car? The one that was wrecked horribly? It was almost scrapped, but at the last second one of the scientists had to take a sick day. And it was his job to make the final call... so they just accepted his old report and VWOOSH... our caped crusader contemplates killing himself for forgeting to get insurance on the darn thing.
Anyway, that's just one example. There's alot worse out there that never makes it. And in this feature, I plan to reveil some of them, and maintaining my personal safety by keeping the scientist guys' names secret. Just remember... you didn't hear about any of these from me, or anyone else.
The Numeric-Pad Ultra Suit- Good technology put to bad use. Basically, you'd enter in the 4-digit code for whatever you want on the handy key pad that you place on your leg or hand, and get things like weapons, climbing devices and life-saving materials. Things went sour when several evaluators died while testing it due to forgeting all the codes. Hmmm.... maybe if they included a post-it note on the other hand...
The Automatic Swinging Sword- Hit the big red button, the sword swings FOR you. Pretty cool, but it had a fatal flaw: it jammed easily. Press the button too much, and you'd end up having a serious problem...
Boomerang Bombs- Awesome! Throw the bomb, and if you miss the target it comes back to you! Oh, wait... that's not a very good idea...
The Medusa Mirror- Very simple: look into the mirror, and you turn into stone! The ultimate defense system! Would have worked perfectly, if they could have figured out a way to turn you back.
False Invisibility Mask- There wasn't really anything wrong with this. All it was was a regular mask, but the trick was to make your enemy THINK you're invisible. Developers got really mad at this one, and promptly returned the plastic mask to the janitor's 8-year old son.
 Soap on a Rope Throwing Weapons- This just never worked.
Dorky-Sidekick Iron Maiden Carrying Case- The perfect solution to those overly-annoying sidekicks who won't shut up. Unfortunately, Dynomutt and Robin protested it's release, and the production was canceled. Stupid sidekicks...
Noose Magic Lasso- Recalled after too many rescue missions turned into mass-fatalities.
Fat Beat Generator- A handy, small boom box that played fat beats to distract the enemy by making them dance crazily. It never worked.
Blow-up Doll Air Bags- The Sailor Senshi sure protested this one...
Roller Scooter Emergency Vehicle- We all hate those darn things. Super heroes hated them even more. That and the fact their capes kept getting caught in the wheels...
Bad Tasting Candy Last Resort Weapon- "Warning: Incase of an emergency, attempt to shove down enemy's mouth. If that does not work, get the heck outta there."
Backstreets Boys Suck Alarm- A very unique and powerful alarm that let off a sound very similar to the Backstreet Boys' suck, sending enemies to their death. Wasn't banned or anything; BSB just bought all the beta copies so they could hear their music more often.
-Grand Master Dragon
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