Hentai VA Sessions
-September 5th, 2001-
While watching La Blue Girl, a semi-infamous Hentai(AKA Animated, Japanese porn, to the uneducated/non-geek) Anime(which I only watched because I'm obligated to as a SUPER OTAKU ANIME FREAK, not because I wanted to, of course...), something became painfully obvious to me. No, not the fact that there was nudity, no, not the fact that it was animated porn, and no, not the fact that I was arroused-- the idea of people doing the voices for this. While it may not seem like much, you have to think about it; how much are they getting paid to scream at the top of their lungs into a microphone(and then redo the scene 43 more times)? Could it be considered a pseudo-Adult Film Industry?
Since the topic amused me pretty well, I decided I'd contact Ms."Diana B. Hard"(real name conceiled for safety purposes, of course), who did one particular scene in "La Blue Girl" that I happened to see.
She honestly seemed pretty cheerful. She kept reassuring me not to feel strange, considering I've heard her making sexual noises and all. I was then given a copy of "The Making of La Blue Girl: From a Voice Actor's Perspective" and was told to watch it. So I stood around, as an eerie silence swooped over... she apparently wanted to stay and watch it as well. Strange, but, oh well... the following is the disturbing content's of the tape, in writen form.
Diana stepped into a rectangle-like recording booth with glass walls, and slipped on her earphones.
Voice Director: "Alright Diana, first scene finished. For the second scene, stick to high tones. REALLY get into your character. Alright, go."
Diana: "Hee hee, ok..."
In front of Diana, a Television turns on, showing the current scene for her to match her voice with. Diana watches it several times at first.
Diana: "Okay, I'm ready."
The Director hit several knobs on his Control Panel, and gave a strange hand signal.
Diana: "OHHHHH! OH NO! OHH! AHHH! OHHH! OHHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH-AH HA HA HA! Sorry, sorry, didn't mean it."
Diana: "...OHHHH! OH NO! AHH! OH! OH! OH GOOD!... HA HA HA! 'Oh good'...?"
Diana: "OHHH! OH NO! AHH! OH! OH! OH...sh@$, my lines aren't matching up..."
Diana: "OHHH! OH NO! AHHH! OH! OHH! OH GOD!.... AH HA HA HA! I'm sorry, seriously, I'll get it right next time."
Director: "Right."
Diana: *giggles* I will, seriously! And you better not turn this into an outtake or something."
Director: "Why would I do that? (even though it would be utterly hillarious, and I'd probably make alot of money...)"
Diana: "Alright alright, I'll get it right this time."
Diana: "...OHHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD! OH- Geez, I'm too slow again..."
Diana: "OHHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! YES! YES! YE-"
Director: "Uhhhh Diana, that's not in the script."
Diana: "YES! YES! YE-"
Director: "Diana, that's wonderful, but it doesn't match up."
Diana: "YES! YES! YES!"
Director: "DIANA!!!"
Diana: "Wha-oh, hee hee, sorry..."
Director: "Could you please try it again, without the adlibing?"
Diana: "Heh heh, sure, no problem."
Diana: OHHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! AHH-HA HA HA HA! Sorry, I had a bubble."
Director: "A what?"
Diana: "I felt a bubble coming up when I got to the end of the line. *giggles*"
Director: "You mean, like, in your throat?"
Diana: "Yeah, 'cus I just took a drink of water a second ago..."
Director: "Continue on then."
Diana: "...OH! OHH! OH-fu@#....... OH! OH NO! AH! OHH! OH-sh@#!....... OH! OH NO! AH! OHH! OH! OHH GOD! AH-damn, almost had it!"
Director: "*laughs histarically*"
Diana: "I WILL get this line."
Director: "Continue."
Diana: "OHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD!... wait, I lost my place..."
Director: "*sighs*..."
Diana: "...OH! OHHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! AHH! AHH! OHH! OHH! AH...!"
Director: "My God, you... actually got it."
Diana: "...I did? Alright!"
Director: "...But, it needs to be done in a different tone..."
Diana: "How ya want me to do it?"
Director: "Lower, higher tone around the third 'OHH!', then lower around 'OH GOD!'"
Diana: "Alright, got it..."
Diana: "OH! OHH! OH NO! AH! OH! OHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! AHH! AHH! AH! OH! OHH! AH...!"
Diana: "How was that?"
Director: "Uhh... ye,yeah, perfect, perfect... t,that's it for today."
Diana: "Really? So I can go?"
Director: "Yeah. So uhh... if you don't mind, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette..."
After the tape ended, "Diana" started crawling all over me like a Boaconstricter. Had I not went into convulsions and began Hyper-ventilating, I would probably have alot more to discuss.
-Grand Master Dragon
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